I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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