ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
