I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
