I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
