id be glad to
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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