i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
