Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
