Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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