I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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