There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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