is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
