There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize