it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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