Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
