i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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