I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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