She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
