Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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