Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
