dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
