I'm eating all of the evidence.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
