Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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