ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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