i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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