Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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