walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
