I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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