I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
