i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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