Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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