so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You took a bar mat shot.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Randomize
