honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize