I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
