i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
