My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize