Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
