how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize