32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
