This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i now understand why vodka
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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