Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
