I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
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It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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