Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
