Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize