Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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