she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
