so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
