I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
