i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
