then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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