is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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