Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
