16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
