quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Shame - the story of my life.
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